Dream blunt rotation: Met Gala 2024 edition

The 2024 Met Gala popped off last night with A-listers walking the mossy green and cream carpet in themed gowns worth more than most mortgages. This year, the party celebrated the opening of “Sleeping Beauties: Reawakening Fashion” with the dress code “The Garden of Time.” The GreenState team is disappointed that nobody paid homage to the cannabis plant. Missed opportunity aside, like every year, the Met Gala was filled with flames and flops, with each critic having slightly different opinions on best versus worst dressed.

We judged the looks on an alternate scale, like who we’d pass the blunt to based on their ensembles. Unfortunately, everyone’s favorite cannabis fashionista, Rihanna, was not in attendance this year, but there are plenty of others worth a toke.

Zendaya

Beloved it-girl Zendaya served two stunning John Galliano looks on the Met Gala carpet this year to wild fanfare. The first captured the smoky romance of the fashion house’s iconic Spring Couture show, and the second was a surprise archival Givenchy look complete with an asymmetrical floral headpiece. Though it wasn’t cannabis, she did bring the flower. We’d definitely pass the blunt to Zendaya #2 but might be too enamored to remember to pass it at all while staring at that first fit.

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Chloe Sevigney

No matter what she is wearing, we will always pass the blunt to Chloe Sevigny. That’s no different after seeing her Met Gala look. The fit is giving Victorian baddie complete with period-perfect mourning hair, a corset, and puffed sleeves. The details are divine, and the look is reminiscent of the princesses past. 10/10, no notes. As for the sesh, the gown seems to have endless places to slide a joint. Simply perfect.

Cole Escola

This playwright and actor made their Met Gala debut wearing Thom Browne, complete with a dog-shaped wicker basket filled with flowers. Anyone that loves to get a little stoned will want Escola’s out there comedy involved in the fun. As for their debut, some outlets put this look on their “Worst Dressed” lists, but we disagree. The playful outfit has perfect tongue-in-cheek Cole Escola vibes, and we’d definitely pass them the blunt.

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Doja Cat

The final look from musical artist Doja Cat was considered off-theme by many, but they’re wrong. Doja keeps the paparazzi on her heels all day leading up to the carpet, telling a story at every turn. By the time she hit the carpet, she was in a soaking wet Vetements t-shirt dress, leaving a literal slug trail behind her as she walked. Cannabis can be a tool for bringing playful vision to life, and that’s exactly what Doja’s snail moment delivered. Based on the hijinx, she might already have a blunt, but we’d still pass her one.

Rita Ora

You know what, no. Rita Ora is beautiful, she’s got style, but this one left me wanting more. The wet style hair and naked Tom Ford gown styled by Tom Eerebout didn’t scream “The Garden of Time,” and though her partner Taiki Waititi looked phenomenal, neither did his brown leather gloved look. While we always appreciate a big swing, this one seems to lean on nudity, which is just too easy. Naw, I don’t think we’d pass it to her this time. The clinking beads are built-in sensory overload and that would only be heightened by a sesh.

Jeff Goldblum

We…love…this man. Jeff Goldblum (styled by Andrew Vottero) showed up in a black Prada jacket adorned with Tiffany brooches depicting flowers and birds inspired by the short story “The Garden of Time,” our boy stayed on the theme, y’all. It was more like a Prada poplin shirt, but the best part was that he kept a certain stance and held his white glove slightly off of his right hand the whole night. The showmanship was top tier, and the diamond brooches are only missing one thing: a fan leaf piece. Might as well pass him some weed to make up for it.

Erykah Badu

The Queen herself hit the Met Gala carpet in Badu style, wearing Comme Des Garcons. The bright florals draped heavily around the artist, perfectly complemented by a leather pointed-toe boot and headpiece. Let’s not overlook the stiletto nails, grill, and hand jewelry that scream That Badu. Let’s be real: anyone who says they wouldn’t pass a blunt to Erykah Badu should probably be on a list. She definitely makes our rotation, and may even bring some from her own Cookies brand That Badu.

Tyla

The sand illusion dress that Tyla wore on the carpet may be the biggest news of the night. It brought earthiness with a sartorial edge and would be stunning to appreciate up close in a circle of people blazing weed.

Fashionistas and influencers haven’t stopped talking about the gown that was so immovable that she was carried up the stairs fully vertically. Honestly, fashion aside, we’d give her a hit based solely on the fact that it looked wildly uncomfortable.

Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez

The fact that these two were at the Met Gala is no surprise. The fact that they served nothing isn’t either. Although with the amount of wealth this couple has held onto, that is just plain sad. If you’re going to sit on over $200B, you better serve a look. Until he spreads the wealth, Bezos and his baby girl can bring their own weed and share it with us.

The Met Gala is a yearly tradition celebrating the opening of the Spring Exhibit. Each year, celebs turn out and show out with outlandish outfits often compared to the Hunger Games’ Capitol families. Despite the gross display of wealth during times of hardship, famine, and war for others, many consider the fashion and spectacle a worthy escape. For us, it’s a question of weed, more precisely, who we’d share it with, and we stand by these decisions. Sure, we don’t know if these stars smoke weed, and many wouldn’t dare smoke anything around the couture–but we can dream.